I miss you

Haaaaaaaaa. Sometimes, all you need to do is just blah. You need to get the excess crap out of you.
Today was a good day. I got over yesterday's hill of sadness and arrived here. I forgave myself and Peter. It feels good. Letting go. It will take small things to shred and layer by layer, you will shred down each and every bad thing off of you. I fell like a flower bud, ready to bloom but I can't.
I really like Tracy Chapmen. She has a really strong voice and I love her music.
I realized that I want to do something with my life. I want my name  on a board in a conference room saying "Sophie Steiner did this with World Peace. We should invite her to come and talk. We should be more like her!" But isn't that what every person wants? To be famous? But everyone is special and different and I love it so much.
I really miss my cousin Alex. He is a freshman at UNC but it feels like he left forever and he lives in like L.A. I haven't heard from since like June or something crazy. It was his bday in November and in the past, we had a birthday dinner for him and my grandmother. But now, I feel like he felt and isn't part of this family. he never calls or just stops by. I feel like he doesn't care anymore. I really miss him. He never came over before but on a couple Saturdays, he took my sisters and I and my cousin out to breakfast. I feel like I lost him.
I am grateful for Jason Wade because his music is really good
I am grateful for hidden memories because they are the most surprising.
I am grateful for Alissa and Lucia. I don't really know why but I think that they are awesome friends to lean against.
I am grateful for my friend Lode for listening across text
I am grateful for tears because I think that with out them, life would be boring
Thank you for listening.